John C. Ford Q&A and Contest!

This Contest is Closed

John C. Ford, author of the new book The Morgue and Me, was kind enough to stop by and even give us a copy of his book to give away.

First, the Q&A:

-Who pwns everything?
I think it’s pretty obvious that Kermit the Frog pwns everything. Is this even subject to dispute?

It isn’t easy being green, but Kermit makes it look so cool. The women (or, well, Miss Piggy anyway) want him, and both the male and indeterminately gendered muppets want to be him. He’s universally respected, funny, and sings a mean version of “The Rainbow Connection.” I rest my case.

-If someone suddenly threw a wad of twenty thousand dollars at you, what would you do?

First and foremost, I would gather up any stray bills that had escaped from the wad and then tuck this newfound fortune in a secret pocket sewn into the lining of my jacket. (Cause that’s how I roll, with the secret linings.) I would then check for bruising, depending on the force of impact with which the projectile wad hit me. Next, I would turn my attention to this strange somebody—who, I assume, is running away from the scene to maintain his/her secret identity—and say “thank you.” I would do this this softly and wistfully, the way one thanks a mystical character (e.g., Bagger Vance, the Horse Whisperer, Obi-Wan Kenobi) in a cinematic feature and/or after-school special in which the mystical character has taught the main character something very special. The main character sure didn’t like it at the time—like when the Karate Kid had to “wax on, wax off” for hours, or like when I got hit in the face with a projectile wad—but then the main character (often seen in a tight close up at this point) understood: that crazy mystical character has given me a gift. That is the sentiment with which I would say “thank you.”

Assuming no immediate medical attention was necessary, I would then perform a complex calculation in my head. It would require me to determine the minimum amount from the $20,000 that I would need to donate to a worthy charity in order to relieve my guilt over blowing the balance on a used car which, unlike my current vehicle, has functioning windshield wipers.

-If 'they' decided to make a movie of your life, which actor would you want to play you?

This is somewhat obscure, but Guy Pearce. He’s just really cool (which may not necessarily be the quality you’re looking for in someone to play me, but whatever—I’m the one casting this thing).

-What's the most random question you can think of? Answer it.

Q: What are your feelings about the color forest green?

A: It’s weird that you would ask that question, since it’s pretty random and I was just thinking of it. My thoughts are this: (a) aesthetically, I’m pretty much digging it, but I probably like it even more because of it’s association with forests (no surprise) and other greenery in nature; and (b) this is not a color that works for clothing very well, in my opinion; like, it seems like one of those colors that gets picked for bridesmaid dresses that seem good in theory but actually look horrendous; and (c) it is only just now hitting me that I thought of this question because I still have Kermit the Frog on the mind.

-Can you do the Time Warp again?

Oh, totally. I do it all the time. Right now, for instance, I’m writing you from the year 3047.

-When writing some authors plan every detail and others just dive into the book, so are you an outliner or a diver (or a mix)?

I think it takes an extraordinary level of talent to write a novel-length work that’s worth reading without doing a fair amount of outlining first. Also, I tend to write stories with a lot of “plot” in them, which is hazardous to attempt without a pretty clear roadmap. For the current manuscript I’m writing, I have an outline that identifies every scene that takes place, the location of that scene, the characters involved, and some minimum level of description about what happens. I won’t stick to it completely, but it’s necessary for me to have the general structure of the story in place as I write.

Thanks so much for having me!

Now, do you want a copy of The Morgue and Me? Of course you do. Here's how you can win:

RULES

• Leave a comment on this post or send an e-mail to yathenaeum@yahoo.com(with the subject as "The Morgue and Me Giveaway")
• Please include your name and e-mail address and which of the ways you are entering. (Provide the links and other information where applicable.)
• Entry deadline is July 31st at 6:00 p.m. Eastern.

WAYS TO EARN ENTRIES

+1= For telling us what you'd want for a summer job.

+1= For stating which crime-solving tool you would most like to have if asked to solve a mystery.

+1= For linking to this contest (Each new link earns another entry. For example, twitter, facebook, your blog, etc. Just provide a link for each).

PRIZES

1 contestants will receive:

1 copy of The Morgue and Me by John C. Ford

Thanks again John! Good luck to all entrants!

-The YAthenaeum Team